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are you still alive?

Hi, yes, yes I am.

Sonia Lewitzka - Le Baiser, 1928

'He thought about touching something before he touched it'.. 'the sun that makes your top lip curl'.. 'I didn’t know what people wrote songs about until I met him'.. these are all acute insights, excellently rendered. I know it's the hardest thing in the world at times but keep going with the fiction, you write with the precision of Hemingway and the honesty of Foster Wallace and it would be a shame if you let that gift gather dust. Thank you so much.


That’s an outrageously inaccurate compliment to give but, thank you all the same.

Hey, I found your tumblr through FACT & I really like the stuff you're posting. Especially the latest piece of writing you shared, 'I could hardly breathe at the thought of not being near him..' Incredible stuff. Did you write that?


Hey anon (shame, reveal yourself dude), thanks for reading my music writing! I always appreciate it when a human reaches out about it. Sometimes it feels that it all just gets lumped on The Internet, for everyone and no one, so that’s cool, thanks. 

I wrote that last one, yeah. Thank you. It’s a super condensed version of a really long one I wrote last week. I never do that kind of writing but, it was something I had to get off my chest I guess. 

Oneohtrix Point Never interview for Dazed & Confused (Sept/Oct 2013)



I have an interview with Oneohtrix Point Never in the October issue of Dazed & Confused!

I’m super happy with the final piece, but the full conversation I had with OPN I feel was one of the best I’ve had in ages, so I’m posting the full transcript for those interested.

More after the jump! Warning: this longread is long, get comfy.

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Expectations & Chips with Lauren Martin (Codeine Drums) at Nice’n’Sleazy

When I followed Lauren Martin (Codeine Drums) on Twitter I thought she was SUPER SERIOUS all the time.  One time when she was walking me to The Unit (everyone’s favourite grimey late-night haunt) I said this to her and she was like, ‘…I just don’t wanna put ALL of myself on the internet.’

At this point, I thought to myself:

*tans wrists*

I put everything on the internet (from PR for Sub Club on Facebook to food blogs) to the point where people think there’s no mystery left - or people think that I’m a proper MENTALIST.  It seems like if you wanna be FUNNY on the internet sometimes you have to sacrifice being ‘normal’ or ‘cool.’ I once tried to be mysterious like the girl in the video for Peter Andre’s ‘Mysterious Girl’ and ended up feeling BORED AS HELL!  MAKE THE CHOICE! The internet can be used as a persona or a mask and I’m not sure how many people understand that.  People are like: ‘OMG your Vine is proper hilarious!’ And then they say, ‘YOU’RE PURE MENTAL!’ I’m like, ‘…have you ACTUALLY spoken to me?’ At the same time I come from a family of actors/musicians/mad people so maybe it’s in my genetics…While I attempt to be funny, LM wants to be perceived as someone who knows a lot about music/culture.  From reading what she does for FACT/DUMMY and her posts on Twitter people don’t realise that she doesn’t just go to see bands/DJs/etc in order to stand at the back being judgemental/wanky - she actually has fun and gets steamin’ like the rest of us.  The difference between Lauren and I is that she will sneak away BEFORE the lights come on whereas I will stay until the very end with Bucky stained lips…and that’s reflected by what we DO and DON’T post on the internet.

When we met at Sleazy’s she was wearing a leather jacket and  I was wearing a massive Prince t-shirt which I stole from a guy a while ago and have been meaning to give back… She ordered one of the specials - A BOAR BURGER with black pudding, bacon, apple, Stilton and pickles onions.  I got the FISH BURGER although I <3 Sleazy’s MEATY BURGERS.  We’re lucky in Glasgow to have SO MANY DIFFERENT options.  Sleazys do a MASSIVE JUICY BURGER but ultimately it’s not the SIZE that matters it’s what you do with it.  Fortunately they taste heavenly too - even if the juices pour down your face when you SQEEZE it all together to attempt to fit it in your mouth.  You often have to result in the pathetic KNIFE AND FORK OPTION but only after ruining whatever garment you’re wearing with endless BURGER JOOCE.  There’s also a HAND BURGER (a burger you can fit in your hand and then into your mouth) at C&B with a brioche bun and proper fries - a more American vibe.  Finally there’s a more SLUTTY BBQ BURGER at Buddy’s in the Southside.

We got an Oreo Shake for £1.50 (BARGAIN!) It was delicious.  I’ve been trying to find the best shakes in town and this was UP THERE - mainly ‘coz of the price.  Tribeca do a good Oreo shake but I think it’s like £3.50 - pricey.  Rio Cafe do good shakes and so do University Cafe but they ain’t really THICK enough.  The decor at these places is HILARIOUS and CAMP though.

When my ‘Four by Fifty’ arrived I was pretty surprised - it was a MASSIVE FISH CAKE on a bed of lettuce.  Looked too healthy for me.  I was EXPECTING a McDonald’s ‘Filet of Fish’ Sleazy’s style - so basically, a burger that’s too big to fit in my mouth with lots of CARBS.  Sleazy’s never seem to give you enough of their ‘triple cooked chunky chips.’  They’re TINY WEE CHUNKY CHIPS which are AMAZING but the portions are PRETTY UNPREDICTABLE.  I think portion sizes with chips is one of the more IMPORTANT things about a meal and it really brings down my opinion of a plaice if they give you say SEVEN chips - which was the case the other day.  The fish cake came with dill sauce and beetroot and was like a mad flavour party in my mouth.  There was something quite satisfying about pushing my fork through the breadcrumb skin of the round fishcake to reveal the salmon and potato in the centre - which burst all over my salad.  At the end of the day, if you’re in the mood for a burger don’t go for the ‘Four by Fifty’ ‘coz there are many more unhealthy/greasy things on the menu to satisfy your JUNK CRAVINGS but if you fancy something lighter then it’s a great wee meal.

While we tried not to get food on our faces I asked LM about how she ended up with such a varied music taste and she said that she used to share a room with her brother (Ryan from All Caps).  They would get to use the CD player for an hour each and they influenced each other’s music tastes.  I’m scared of LM’s bro though ‘coz I once talked pish to him at a party.  I think everyone is guilty (up to a point) of having an expectation of how someone is gonna be ‘IRL’ (I also take ‘IRL’ as sobriety ‘coz meeting someone at 6am doesn’t really count).  I guess this whole ONLINE/OFFLINE thing is relatively new to our generation but the TRUTH it: There is no difference anymore - what you post online isn’t some ‘OTHER’ person - it’s YOU!

Lauren said to me: ‘You’re mental! In a good way.’ As she passed me a bottle of Blossom Hill in The Unit while we danced to Frankie 17 (playing the best ghetto set I’ve ever heard) I thought the same.  She was wearing a white dress and heels.  It’s funny that she used to be a mad emo kid with ear expanders and is now so clean cut - although how she attacked the burger was pretty carefree.



Amelia and I went for burgers and she wrote about it for her hilarious blog, Oh Ma Cod.

Q. Professional critics tend to get a bad rep. What is the value of music criticism?

A. The biggest mistake is that it’s about opinions. I just want you to think about a record. I’m going to provide some historical context, provide some analysis, you know think differently about it. You can hear any song immediately when I put it on the internet, you don’t need me to tell you whether or not you like it, and odds are you’ve decided whether or not you’ve liked it 30 seconds into the song anyway. So it’s like what’s the point in that? But if you do like it, then maybe you can like it better by having an informed opinion backing it up. I’m not trying to convince anybody of anything, and it’s so hard, it’s exhausting because everybody fights with you like you are. I think a lot of people read music criticism to have their opinion validated, and then their instinct is to kind of lash out if it’s not. But you just read music criticism, or any kind of criticism to have somebody else’s read on it. Like if I watch a movie, I usually just go and read the Times review, but I have my own thoughts about that movie. I just watched it, I processed it… Really it’s just a conversation.

I want to see what the next man thinks. If I’m sitting alone watching a movie, I want to see what the next man thinks about that movie. And I want it from someone who’s smart. I think people are like well who are you? And I’m like I’m the guy that sits 8 hours a day and listens to rap music. I know what I’m talking about. If we don’t agree it’s not because I don’t understand, it’s because we don’t agree, which is perfectly natural. That’s taste, that’s the very definition of taste. The records you like might not be the records I like. That doesn’t mean you hate me, doesn’t mean we can’t have a grown-up conversation about those records. And you can gush about why you love them and I’ll tell you why I think they suck. And we’ll both leave knowing more about the music and thinking differently about it. So that’s my defense of criticism.

Andrew Nosnitsky (Cocaine Blunts)